I like to think I’m a snappy dresser. I also like to think I know my way round the dance, but seeing as I’m whiter than the driven snow and fast becoming infected by the pandemic known as Dad-Dancing, my friends and family can attest to my thoughts being complete and utter bullshit. One thing am I am sure of though, is that if I knew how to do dance, Diablo Swing Orchestra would get every last move out of me before crucifying my corpse and using my guts to restring the cellos.

Pandora’s Piñata is the third outing by the barmy bunch of Swedes and contains no less than fifty-two minutes of foot tappin’, fox trottin’, jive-swingin’ numbers that’ll leave you breathless. The opening Voodoo Mon Amour is a classic big band piece that tears across the dancefloor like a hurricane. We’re no stranger to odd band names in these woods, and each one encapsulates the feel of the song. From the jungle beats of Guerrilla Laments via the lamentous How To Organize a Lynch Mob, we end up at the wonderful Exit Strategy of a Wrecking Ball. It’s here the band first exercise a full on metal approach for the first time on the album, with the brass and strings taking a back-seat for once, as opposed to the opposite.

From the speakeasy gal choruses to the creepy sole male voice, Pandora’s Piñata  really is an musical adventure down as many avenues as possible. Of course, this is the whole point of the DSO, something diabolical yet infuriatingly infectious. Your nan will love the operatic Aurora and the nostalgia of Honey Trap Aftermath is a seamless blend of big band and 70s funk that no one could tire of.

After the finale Justice For Saint Mary which manages until the last two minutes to keep things relatively normal before channelling the powers of Rammstein, DSO decide to give your brain back. Pandora’s Piñata will take a lot out of you, and rightly so. It’s tentacles will feel out your soul, forcing to dance in the name of Beezlebub himself.

Just buy it and dance until your legs collapse.